i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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