it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
