I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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