Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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