the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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