But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
