she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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