Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
fuck your aforementioned shoe
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just had sex on a roof
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
