I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
