Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
