i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
