my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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