Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize