at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
time to smoke my breakfast
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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