hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
