is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
