I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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