I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
