thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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