Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
