Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
