ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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