We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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