Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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