I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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