Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
