how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
