He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
