I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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