I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Randomize
