atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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