i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
