life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
