If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
