I want to stick my p in your. b.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
