Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
