I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
