She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
