I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
