fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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