She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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