The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
