I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
