dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
