i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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