What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
