You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
