im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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