Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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