Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
