right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
