It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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