had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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